Movin' On Up!

Hi all!! So I my life has bee crazy and busy and tiring. These workouts are really kicking my ass and I have to admit- I am ready to film this bad boy. Let's go... come on!!!! I have been going to Slimmons, on average, 4X a week. And, while I LOVE it- I am bloody tired. I want some of my freedom back. Not to say I am going to stop going there, or working out all together- that will NOT happen- no, I just want to be at home after a 10 hour day in the office and walk and play with my dog and not be driving into Beverly Hills.

So... moral of the story- I am tired.

However, this brings me to the main point of this blog, and that is "counting my blessings" (something Richard says all the time). I have to remind myself how amazing my life is. It is far from perfect, but it is mine and it is great. I smile, I laugh, I love, I get angry, and sad, and hysterical and it is all wonderful. Thanks goodness I allow myself to feel these feelings.

This is something about me that I have come to appreciate more and more (and I see it now more than ever before). I have never allowed my weight to stop me from anything in this life. I might have been more hesitant with men, or not sat in the front row at a comedy show for fear of being picked on (true story)... but I have never let it stop me. I get out there- I see things, I meet people, I make friends and laughter and conversation! How truly blessed am I to be able to say this is true.

I bring this up because some people have said some things to me about being "too happy" before I lost weight (in context it makes some sense. No hurt feelings- it's hollywood). Well who wrote the book that said fat people are supposed to be socially awkward and sad?!?! I would like to know... and then I would like to prove them wrong by laughing at their skinny asses! For serious folks! 

The thing is, I really do think that you choose how you will feel. Some circumstances might not apply... but, really, if we let our environment rule our nature and determine our attitude and self worth than none of us would be happy! Everyone gets picked on... even the prettiest people. Everyone has insecurities... so being overweight should never stop anyone from doing anything. When we crawl in a hole and cry and stop what we want in this life, stop our dreams, than we are giving all of these meaningless people power. And who the fuck are they?!?

Choose to be happy. Choose to be confident.

I remember Kristen told me a long time ago, "If I didn't know you so well I would never know you were insecure. You seem so confident" and to that I said... " I fake it"! That's what I do folks... in this life we have to fake it until we make it!! It's so true... and eventually I start to believe some of the nice things I say about myself. Because talking bad about myself and self doubt is never going to get me anywhere in this life. It would be a never ending cycle of sadness. So... I have chosen to be happy- or at the very least, try!

I am getting off of my soapbox... I just want everyone to know what I think- OF COURSE. We choose our destiny. Don't let anything stop you, don't let anyone make that choice for you.

Lol... enough of that- you can tell it's been on my mind.

In other news- I have officially, as of this morning, lost 30lbs!!! I couldn't be more happy with my progress! The next number I can't wait to get to is 50--- what a feet that will be :):):)

I seem to be looking forward to more challenges ahead in this journey. I have decided to run a half marathon- not sure which one yet... but I am going to find a cause that is dear to my heart. I think by finding things that are fun and challenging I will keep up this weight loss and be in fighting shape (I want to take boxing lessons at some point).

So all is great... I am (still) happy and healthier and motivated- oh, and tired. :)

I love, love, love you all! 

Feeling Lighter

I am having a good week. Not only am I losing the weight- but I am feeling lighter. I am feeling lighter emotionally and physically. I have more energy, and it's funny but I am moving better. I never thought of myself as physically restricted in any way- now I realize that I was. Don't get me wrong- I knew I was out of shape... I felt it. But it is so much easier right now... and if it's easier now I cannot wait to see how much easier it is going to be in a few more months!

I am excited. But I have also started to get a little nervous. I know that when the DVD is done I am going to have to keep myself motivated and keep on moving. Getting to Slimmons during the week, for me, is really hard. Not only does the price add up- but I have to rush straight from work to get there on time. Luckily, I have one of the coolest bosses in the free world and when it is slow I get to leave a few minutes early- which helps.

I just have to make a promise here and now that when the DVD is done- I WILL NOT STOP.

Whether or not I make it to Slimmons 3X a week, I will start jogging more and (hopefully) hiking and swimming laps throughout the week! I have to, because if I stop I will wind up right back where I started which was not  in the best place. Gotta keep on keepin' on folks!

I feel too good right now to go back. I am feeling lighter and prettier and might even be standing a little taller- with special restrictions when my back muscles spasm ;)

I am just really happy.

In other news- I am so excited because some of my friends from the DVD and I are going to be doing a walk for Ovarian Cancer Research! I have never done one before, having always wanted to, because I was embarrassed about being so out of shape. Well times have changed and I am doing this whether I can run faster than others or not. I get to donate my time and energy to women suffering from this terrible illness- what better way is there to work out?! Of course, it will also be a big bonding experience for all of my Slimmons friends! If you are interested in walking with us let me know, or you can start your own team- just go to www.ovariancancercalifornia.com and click on the banner for the September 13 walk.

This month is full of goodness dude!!!! In a few days I will be registering for Birthright which I am praying I get into for the December trip~ cross your fingers for me.

Candi and Marisa are coming out at the end of the month for the Slimmons wrap party and I am sooooooo excited to see them. I already told Marisa- I might cry... lol.

Not to mention a nice three day weekend--- THank You LABOR DAY!!!

I would say that all this goodness means that I haven't been bogged down with stress and sadness but that would be a lie. However, I am choosing to count my blessings and be happy whenever I can. Not gonna let anyone get in my way- especially ME.

Alright, enough blogging for now. 

Thank you for taking the time to read and for all the support I have received. I love, love, love you!!!

Good times keep comin'!!

So it has been about 6 weeks since I have started my own personal weight loss journey and things are going great! I have lost 22 pounds so far and am definitely feeling the inches shedding from my frame. It feels really great to be back in the saddle, so to speak. 

I have started the training for the DVD's and it has been pretty physically demanding. I am at Slimmons Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday, and when I am not there I have been pretty good at keeping my butt moving. 

I have made some great new friends in all of this. People from all different walks of life have become such an inspiration to me. 

It really couldn't have come at a better time in my life. I am finally taking care of me, putting myself first, and it feels amazing. There really couldn't have been a better time for this place to come into my life. The last year- months- have held some changes. Some big heartbreaks and pain. I have realized while I give my whole self to someone they may not always do the same in return. I have lost my escape in the mountains at Bravo, the place that has brought me back in touch with me for the last 8 years of my life. So it has been hard. But through it all I have made some great new friends, and rediscovered how lucky I am to have to ones I do.

With all of these things I have been able to confide in my roommate and best friend who is the best listener in the world. I have been cheered on by Candi, Kelly, and Marisa; And my grandmother is my biggest fan. She is so happy for me. She keeps telling me I am glowing, that she has never seen me so happy. For the most part she is right... however- I tend to lead towards the happy road of life whenever I can- but my confidence is booming because I am not worried about other people.

In the last few months I have stood up for myself, made new friends, and lost some of the weight I have used as a crutch for far too long. So eezzz good folks. Of course, if I said that I haven't cried a lot of water weight away I would be a liar. But when the eyes are dry and all is said and done I know who I am and what I deserve and I am no longer afraid to demand it. That's right peeps- I used the 'D' word! I think we should all have things in life we require- weather big or small- from a friend or a lover. You know why? We all deserve it. I deserve it. I am worth it.

So thank you to all my friends who have been there for me through all of this, throughout all my life. I love you more than you will ever know- even though I always tell you.