Happy

Sometimes it is really hard to just be... happy. It really sucks too, because I genuinely enjoy being happy. I love laughing and smiling for no reason. I love making others laugh and smile and feel good. I still tend to do the latter, because I am a natural caretaker. I love making someone's day by simply being kind. So why is it so hard to do the same for myself.

I have so much to be grateful for right now. I have the most amazing family in the world, I have the most wonderful friends anyone could ask for, I have a roof over my head and a dog that I get to cuddle with on a regular basis... so many things that make me smile. And I am smiling. I am just missing some of the littler things. The little things that most people have experienced already.

I am so ready to meet someone. That's what this is about, in case you haven't already guessed.

I know I am deserving. I love myself. I am ready... and yet it only seems to get harder. And the harder it gets the more I want to throw in the towel. I wont, don't get me wrong. No one needs to tell me what I already know... I'm just kind of bummed. As surrounded as I am by a constant stream love, it is still very easy to feel very lonely.

I hate that I feel lonely. I really, really hate it.

I'm happy on my own. I am happy with the person that I am and the person that I want to become... but now... I'm ready for someone else to make me smile.