My eyes are HUGE!!!

LOL... not really. In fact, my eyes are my favorite feature. When I say they are HUGE I mean in relation to my stomach!

I have recently discovered the magical combination that is APPLE and PEANUT BUTTER. I am kind of obsessed with it. Not in the creepy stalker kinda way (I may have found my way to a peanut farm in the middle of the night... but that was a happy mistake) , but in the "I WANT IT ALL THE TIME AT WORK" kinda way.

There are numerous reasons why I have, suddenly, found this combo so effin' delightful. The main reason, however, is that it actually fills me up! I have my favorite fruit and am not hungry immediately afterwards --- fruit tends to make me hungry faster --- PLUS I get my energy from the protein.

Now... 1 TBSP of peanut butter is upwards of 90 calories- I usually have 2.

But today... I scooped and scooped and scooped some more. Scooping so much and, somehow, justifying the mass amount of peanut butter that found its way to my bowl,

"It's just 2 larger scoops" or "I will work it off later" or, my personal fave, "I am eating vegetable soup for lunch and dinner so these calories won't hurt!"

BULLLLLLLSSSSSSSHHHHHHIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTT !

:):)

Needless to say, I wound up eating my apple and peanut butter and found myself still staring -- and it looked back at me so sad--- at endless amounts of leftover peanut butter (see picture below)

So not only did I feel like a fat pig for attempting to stuff myself with that much peanut butter, but I felt GUILTY... and all around silly. I really did laugh about it. I mean, how effed up is my mind to take that much of something and think I can still eat it--- and find a way to justify it!

This is why it is SO important to get used to reading the labels.

PEOPLE... it sucks... no one wants to know that their favorite food or snack or sweet is half of their daily calorie intake! But it is soooo necessary. It is also necessary to be honest with ourselves and measure portions. Measuring sucks. I hate it. Portion control is no fun- you know what is fun... all you can eat buffets!!! Fucking delightful!!!! But the feeling afterwards... the letting out of the top button. The guilt the next morning on your weigh in... the punishing workouts to feel okay with what you just consumed--- not fun. Also--- NOT worth it!!!

I know that when I take my time and enjoy my food but eat portions with the idea that it is FUEL for my body then I will not only feel better, but enjoy my food more.

Sometimes I am really good at these things. Other times (hello AUNT FLOW!!! Bitch.) I get off track and just want to go crazy and indulge.

I really can't anymore though, not like I used to anyways. Not only because it isn't healthy and will help pack on pounds... but I physically can't eat that much anymore. If I do, I know exactly what I am doing, punishing myself. For so long food was a source of punishment for me... sad, but true.

Anyways, the moral of the story is to acknowledge that, sometimes, our eyes are way bigger than our appetites. Sometimes I have to take a step back and say to myself "Am I really that hungry?" OR "Do I really need that?"... because whenever I actually practice these things the outcome is sooooo much better.

In the end... do I really need that much peanut butter!?!?

Love, Love and more LOVE!!!!