There really isn't a way to say the word "scale" without "fucking" or any other obscenity in front of it. I don't know anyone who likes the scale. Even when I hit my goal weight I won't like the scale! Because when I retain water and that jolly little 3 digit SOB number crawls up 2-3 lbs I will flip out and curse and hop off the scale like it has some sort of fucking weight gaining virus!
Now... the funny part of the battle with the "Fucking scale" is that I step on it EVERY SINGLE DAY.
That's right... every morning, after I wake up- before I eat breakfast- and after I empty my bladder (you're welcome) I get on that scale in my birthday suit and pray that the number has dropped.
This is a, relatively, healthy way to weigh yourself.
The problem is... it doesn't stop there. I will then weigh myself after I eat breakfast, after I work out, before bed & always when it is that time of the month and I feel like a heifer! I do it when I KNOW, without a shadow of a doubt, that I am going to weigh more. Why do I have such a sick obsession?!? WTF is wrong with me?!?
Most of the time I can write off these numbers, I know why it is higher than it was in the morning... but sometimes it kills me. And yet, I still do it.
It's like this wicked little addictive habit that I just can't quit. I can't quit you ASSHOLE SCALE!!!
The good news is, my number is lower than it has been... almost ever. That I remember.
The bad news is, I am sick of it. It makes the journey much less fun when I obsess over a number.
I keep visualizing hiding it under my sink and only pulling it out once a week. But then I think, "What if I am retaining more water on that day than the day before... or the day before that..." and I never put it away.
The one time I did lean it against the wall (still in site JIC I got the craving) my dog knocked it over while running into the bathroom (no, he's not THAT potty trained) which just happened to turn it on... so I couldn't NOT step on it. I mean, Moses went to all that trouble to turn it on. It would be a waste of the battery. And it would be bad for the environment... and walls would crumble... and the end of the world would come sooner than we thought!!!!!!!!
Or maybe I am just fucking crazy over the fucking scale.
Richard always talks about how it is just a tool. We shouldn't be scared of it, or hate it, because it is just a tool that we use to get where we need to be. After all, the scale doesn't make me eat too much chocolate at work. Or drink more than my one diet dr. pepper. Or even make me chillax too much on my walking. It is just honest with me. Maybe that is what I am addicted to... the honesty of my progress. As opposed to how I used to hide from the scale. Hide from the absolute truth that I was dangerously overweight.
I am proud of myself every day. I need to be. But when I abuse this tool, just like anything else... it makes me unhappy. Obsession is not just a pretty perfume... it's a pain in the arse!
So in the end, I need to cut back on the number of times I step on the scale. I would rather go by my measurements.
For those who don't know, my ideal body type is Christina Hendricks... who is all sorts of woman! I think she is soooo sexy and has the body of a goddess. I hope I can get to the desired shape, but I know everyone isn't built the same...
36-32-36.... that's the goal for now.
When I get there... watch out! I am gonna be super sexified! Full sexual makeover!!!!
Anyways, moral of the story is I don't need to obsess over the number. I need to work on the inches.
However, when I lose 7 more LBS I am going to flippin' freak out! I will finally be under 200lbs... that's right I am at 207 right now... I can, honestly, not remember the last time I was under 200lbs. What a friggin' accomplishment that will be for me!!! It's sooooo exciting. EEEE!
In the end, if this helps anyone at all I will be happy. Just know that the scale is nothing to be scared of. The result of not taking care of yourself is. Just do it once a week. Once a week, or twice a month and be honest with yourself about what direction your health is headed.
I wasted so much time being unhappy about my weight... take the step in the right direction- the direction that makes you happy with yourself and your body.
The scale is our friend... just don't make it your best friend (the bastard)
Love, love & more LOVE!!!!!
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